Miscellany: Your lab fees at work.
For a long time now I’ve been asking to be cremated and buried or scattered, rather than being embalmed and buried whole. This is primarily because I find the whole embalming thing a bit icky and unnatural, and secondarily because as an engineer I realize that the conventional burial model doesn’t scale with geometrically expanding population.
However, I think I’ve now found something that avoids embalming, but also doesn’t have the environmental costs associated with cremation, and as an added bonus is something that sounds completely insane.
Apparently Promessa will give you a very ecologically sound final disposition of your corpse.
How do they do this?
Well, first they freeze-dry your corpse, and then they shatter the corpsicle jerky into dust with sonic bursts. The dust, which doesn’t decay as long as you keep it dry gets put into a corn starch coffin, which will decompose quickly.
Come on, that’s awesome.
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You know, I thought that story about the carnivorous fish spa was the freakiest thing I would read about the Japanese and fish. Not so, however. It comes a very, very distant second to the article about the sexual habits of Japanese fishermen. (The original link seems to have vanished, but there’s a copy of the story here.)
Look, I’m going to quote a little bit of it, but you go read it for yourself.
Should you happen to find yourself climbing on a seaside crag, you might come across a type of anemone known as “isoginchaku.” And this, says Makeburu, bodes well for some fishy frolic.
The creature gets its name from the old Japanese coin purse called a “kinchaku,” which puckers tightly in the center when you pull on the drawstrings.
“So if you stick in your you-know-what, it’ll snap shut around it,” he says. “You don’t need any foreplay at all. Just ram the old avenger home. It feels goooood,” he grins, rolling his eyes.
There’s a picture with that bit in the article that makes you wonder about those old size stereotypes for Asian men.
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So, you want to be able to access your mail from anywhere, so you use GMail, or something like it. You want to be able to chat with your friends from anywhere, so you use the Google Talk web client, or something like it. You want to be able to read your RSS feeds from anywhere so you use Bloglines or Google Reader, or something like them. You want to be able to see your contacts from anywhere, so you use Plaxo, or something like it. You want to share documents with people over the web so you…
And so on.
The trend continues, and there are distributed applications to fill almost any niche at this point.
The obvious next step, of course, is a distributed operating system: access to your whole desktop from anywhere.
And there’s already a free, open source, implementation out there. Check it out.
Be sure to at least watch the video.
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Scientology Faces Criminal Charges
BRUSSELS, Belgium (AP) — A Belgian prosecutor on Tuesday recommended that the U.S.-based Church of Scientology stand trial for fraud and extortion, following a 10-year investigation that concluded the group should be labeled a criminal organization.
I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
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Finally, I have this one problem at work that is plaguing me–things that work everywhere else behave dismally if the application server happens to be a specific version of Weblogic, running on Solaris (same version of WLS works fine on Windows). I can’t figure it out.
However, after reading about Nepalese airline mechanics today, I have an idea for something that might resolve the problem.
Tags: creepy things,crime,environment,religion,sex,urban legends,web tools

September 6th, 2007 at 1:15 am
Would your freeze-dried self make good fish food? ‘Cause that would be even better than having your ashes dumped in the ocean.
September 6th, 2007 at 9:46 am
Well, the process includes a step where they remove both surgical metal artifacts (since we’ll all have bionic hips, etc) and accumulated heavy metals (since we’re all slowly dying of mercury poisoning, etc), and can potentially include a disinfection step (although one wonders what kind of contagion could survive free-drying and sonic shattering), so it seems fair to assume that what’s left is essentially protein powder, which could probably be pelletized into fish food.
They actually talk about a grave site for the corn starch coffin, and the notion of planting something on it, which can quickly uptake nutrients from the decomposing coffin and powder, but I still think there’s a scale problem there. With limited space, and geometrically rising population, we can’t be eternally reserving land for dead people. Doesn’t scale. We need to get over our attachment to the body as an artifact, and to the notion that respect for the dead has anything to do with respect for the corpse, or the place where we buried it.
So fish food is a good option. Or fertilizer.
I’ll stop short of speculating about the uses of protein powders in human foodstuffs.
September 6th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Please tell me there’s a video of the sonic-shattering widget at work.
September 6th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Sadly, no.
The closest they get is this:
September 6th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Finally, a method of disposing of my corpse that combines my religious fanatacism regarding jerky with my life-long desire to be shattered via series of sonic bursts. If they can work donair sauce into this somehow, perhaps via a supercollider that hurls the viscous delight into an alternate timeline where I am brought to join them via the sonic bursts or something, then I might be set to off myself tomorrow.