I am old
Buying a house didn’t make me feel old
Graduating and starting work full-time didn’t make me feel old.
Going bald didn’t make me feel old.
Turning 30 didn’t make me feel old.
The first time I told a story about some hijinks I had pulled, and the story started with “Fifteen years ago…” I didn’t feel old (much).
Becoming a father didn’t make me feel old.
My wife turning 30 didn’t make me feel old.
So how come my little brother turning 30 makes me feel old?
Julian
Trish
Sharon
Nick Anderson
Hotspur666
will shetterly
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February 4th, 2005 at 1:53 pm
I have a theory on this:
You bought your house when you were young.
You graduated and started full time while continuing to live the student lifestyle.
You went bald at about the same time.
You turned 30, and didn’t feel old because you were too busy drinking.
The first “Fifteen years ago…” hijinks story was probably pre-30, because you’re from the middle of nowhere and kids start early there.
The father thing won’t hit you until Sarah starts dating.
Your wife isn’t old at 30, she just has more attitude.
Your younger brother turning 30 (old) makes you old by the associative property of age comparison. Since that is a technical proof, you finally understand what I’ve been saying for years: YOU ARE OLD!
Does that help you feel any better about it? I, on the other hand will never be old.
February 4th, 2005 at 2:01 pm
Most of the stuff in your list happened before you were 30 (old).
Being a father won’t make you feel old until Sarah is old enough to be embarassed about you.
Trish turning 30 didn’t affect you because there was no biological tie between you.
Steve turning 30 means something because you grew up together, which provides a basis for age comparison, so by the associative property of age, you must be old, too. It’s only because I was able to use the term “associative property” that you feel old.
Also, it’s also partly because I’m not around to regularly remind you that you’re old, thereby desensitising you to it. See, I’m always right.
I, on the other hand, will never be old.
February 4th, 2005 at 5:32 pm
So, George, are you saying the reason I feel old is because I am, in fact, old?
Damn.
I was hoping there was some other reason, but you can’t argue with the associative property.
February 7th, 2005 at 5:16 pm
you guys are bugging me
February 8th, 2005 at 8:55 pm
Good Lord, except for the bit about graduating and getting a real job (two things I have blissfully avoided in my 36 years on this planet) I felt exactly the same way when my little brother turned thirty. I guess it’s because up untill they turned thirty we figured we could still kneel on their arms and drop that line of druel just to the tip of their noses.
February 9th, 2005 at 5:02 pm
Adam, your little brother clearly was not a professional goon. I abandoned any hope of winning any kind of fight with my little brother more than 15 years ago.
April 1st, 2005 at 4:31 pm
Okay, now I’m old.