Number 11
Number eleven, of course, is “bust a shell up in your face, yo”.
Or, as WikiNews puts it:
U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter on Saturday during a bird hunting trip at a south Texas ranch.
The victim, 78 year-old Harry Whittington, is an Austin lawyer who was accompanying the Vice President on a south Texas quail hunt when he was sprayed with shotgun pellets to his face and chest.
(Note that WikiNews uses Cheney’s official portrait, a.k.a. the “dirty old man wink” shot.)
Accidentally shot him in the face, huh?
CBS , among other things, adds the details that Whittington is a millionaire, and that everyone was wearing the orange hunting jackets. (CBS also ran the story alongside the “Dick Cheney will eat your soul” photo, which is always a nice upbeat way to go.)
Most of the stories (like this one at CNN, the only one to show Whittington’s face–or rather, what his face used to look like) are now focused on why the news was released by a private citizen, rather than on the question of whether or not it actually was an accident.
Well, I have some theories of my own about what might actually have happened:
1) Cheney mistakes Whittington for Scooter Libby
2) Whittington acted against the family and needed a lesson. “Hunting with Whittington”==”Fishing With Fredo”
3) Cheney, in a moment of weakness, temporarily loses control of body to Zarathos, who goes on a killing spree
4) Plans to open Seventh Seal with blood of corrupted ancient cleverly thwarted by “those darn kids”. Corrupted ancient escapes with only injuries
5) Whittington innocent victim of bet between Cheney and Secret Service agent about how easy it would be to cover up blatant murder
6) Administration’s sheer incompetence extends to hunting, where they can actually accidentally shoot people in orange vests IN THE FACE.
Kira
Grace
February 14th, 2006 at 1:13 am
“Bad news. Cheney wants to take you hunting.”
http://frontier.cincinnati.com/blogs/borgman/2006/02/vp-hunting.html
The “Ten Ways” collage is hilarious. Well-referenced.
February 14th, 2006 at 10:33 am
B3n!
Great to see you here.
And those cartoons you link to have some of Teh Funny in them
February 14th, 2006 at 11:39 am
The new Tricky Dick? I can hardly believe it. Infamy continues to be refined by those Yankee-Doodle higher ups.
February 14th, 2006 at 11:40 am
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart poked a bit of fun at this last night. Okay, it was actually the theme for the entire show. They don’t have the videos up on the website yet, but I’m sure they’ll be there soon. Unless there’s some kind of, you know, censorship.
February 14th, 2006 at 3:04 pm
7) Whittington objects when discovering that Cheney routinely hunts black men (or Gitmo detainees–not sure which is more likely) on his private “Most Dangerous Game” preserve.
Accident is result of Cheney’s heart medication getting mixed up with W’s recreational stash.
February 14th, 2006 at 3:41 pm
9) Kennedy-envy
February 14th, 2006 at 4:19 pm
Poor Teddy. He’ll never be prez, cuz his car doesn’t float.