I don’t talk much here about my job…

…primarily because I don’t define myself in terms of it. The job is what I do the pay for my life, not the thing that defines my life.

However, sometimes the frustrations boil over and I am reduced to a bit of flat out ranting.

Things That Only Corporate North America Could Do:

1) Assign a major component of development to developers in another country–and then don’t give them access to the source control system. What the hell?! How do you get almost to the end of a program without having a solution for a problem like this? Why not just ask a painter to produce a piece, but then refuse to give him canvas, brushes, or paint.

2) Randomly shut down the access of all remote developers to key internal systems.

3) During the final few weeks of the program, when things are really getting tight, move the entire company to a new domain. (And very likely cause all kinds of domain conversion problems with the source control system, and the previously mentioned access to it.)

4) Create programs that require the direct, day-to-day interaction of people in 3 different North American time zones spanning 4 hours, plus people in Israel, plus people in Australia. In other words, set up a system that literally requires at least two groups of people to be working well outside normal office hours in order for things to proceed. For bonus points, do this while making a speech about how you want your employees to have lives, and how you aren’t interested in forcing people to work long hours.

5) Add entire new features to the program plan halfway through the development cycle. Don’t worry about design documents, or reviews–clearly when you throw something together at the last minute, in the middle of the hustle to meet existing deadlines, what you produce will be pure gold.

ARGGH.

That is all.

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This work by Chris McLaren is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 Canada.