This could easily have been the last item in that last link post, but I felt it was gloriously bizarre enough to merit a post all its own:<\/p>\n
Man found in WI basement covered in BBQ sauce
\n<\/a>
\nAPPLETON, Wisc. (NEWSCHANNEL 3) – A couple telephoned police in the middle of the night after finding a man in their basement covered head to toe in barbecue sauce.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nThe story gets better from there, although the information at that link is pretty slight. I should Google.<\/p>\n
The guy told officers he covered himself in barbecue sauce because he wanted to hide from the government.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Does that work? Has anyone told DHS? They should totally get a billion dollar grant to invest in anti-sauce technologies to prevent people from slipping through secure checkpoints, or something.<\/p>\n
OK, I Googled<\/a>.<\/p>\n
Two other choice quotes from another piece<\/a>:<\/p>\n
The 35-year-old man was wearing the woman’s jacket and the man’s hat and explained “he was in the military and that someone had tipped off the FBI that (he) was providing secrets to the terrorists.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
and then, for a level of deadpan that might even shock an RCMP sergeant:<\/p>\n
The man’s attorney said there may be mental health issues involved in the case.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Ya think?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This could easily have been the last item in that last link post, but I felt it was gloriously bizarre enough to merit a post all its own: Man found in WI basement covered in BBQ sauce APPLETON, Wisc. (NEWSCHANNEL 3) – A couple telephoned police in the middle of the night after finding a man in their basement covered… Read more →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[16],"tags":[75,256,164],"class_list":["post-1284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-one-and-done","tag-comedy","tag-crime","tag-sneaky","xfolkentry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5UQvw-kI","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chrismclaren.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chrismclaren.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chrismclaren.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.chrismclaren.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.chrismclaren.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1284"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.chrismclaren.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1284\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chrismclaren.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.chrismclaren.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.chrismclaren.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}